DINK allows couples to save their income which otherwise would have been spent on child’s education, health and raring. Photo Courtesy: iStock
For Divya Maben and her husband Nithin Koshy, the idea of raising a child in the current scenario is daunting. “The world today is far more complex and challenging than when we were growing up,” Maben tells Mid-day.com
This Bangalore-based DINK couple met through work and fell in love. After dating for a year, the two decided to tie the knot and have been enjoying childless marital bliss for the past five years.
Maben reveals that even as a child she never wanted to have children and she always wanted a partner who wanted the same things in life. “As soon as I knew that our relationship was getting serious and we were thinking about marriage, I ensured to have these conversations with Nithin. It was important for both of us to be honest about what we expected out of this marriage. The process of communicating to my husband about wanting a childless marriage was much easier than most people might think. Besides, it also reinforced that we had found the right partner in each other.”
Both in their early 30s are creative entrepreneurs running two companies – Now Media and Bleep Studio. “We both cherish our freedom and the ability to focus on our passions. As dedicated animal lovers and vegans, we find great joy in dedicating our time to animals and our business ventures,” says Maben. Living a child-free life has helped the couple in numerous ways which include being able to spend quality time with each other, focusing on personal growth, being able to make decisions without constantly worrying about the impact on someone else, and being free from the pressure of accommodating a child’s needs.
“We’re happy and fulfilled being dog parents, which suits our lifestyle perfectly.” In photo: Divya Maben (right) and Nithin Koshy (left)
When asked whether there would be a change of thought, Maben (@divyamaben) says, “Definitely not. Nithin and I are at a very comfortable and happy phase of our lives where most of our time is dedicated to work and our dogs. Over these five years of marriage, we have not considered having children, and we do not plan to in the future either.”
Today, Many couples like Divya and Nithin are increasingly opting for the DINK lifestyle. For those coming across this term for the first time, DINK stands for Dual Income No Kids.
Origin of the term and its relevance today
The term was coined sometime in the 1980s. Professor Vandana Gupta, PhD, finance, an educator in FORE School of Management says, “The term is believed to have first surfaced when society norms were transitioning towards greater career pursuits, delay in marriage to get greater financial independence which eventually followed by making a conscious decision to not have kids.”
With a social and cultural shift towards more gender equality, career choices and opportunities increased for women. Additionally, with globalisation, many couples moved to the United States and other foreign countries for a better quality of life; where their financial position improved significantly leading to many individuals prioritising their professional growth and advancement to sustain in the competitive environment.
Moreover, this shift also led to the formation of nuclear families, where lack of time for children and the high costs of raising a child led to couples deciding not to have kids.
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“In the Indian context,” Gupta shares, “couples choose to move out of their joint families where the support system is considerably strong (though we still have strong support systems) and settle in metro cities like Mumbai and Bangalore for better career prospects. This causes increasing stress for couples in the initial stage of careers to manage expenses let alone planning kids and raising them.”
Thus, Gupta states that a DINK lifestyle provides greater financial independence, fosters personal growth, gives time to pursue hobbies and interests besides career, and binds the couple in a stronger relationship.
Reasons for couples choosing a DINK lifestyle
“It is surprising to witness a phenomenon like DINK, which goes against the Indian social structure,” opines Dr Shireen Mirza, associate professor of sociology, BITS Law School.
In India, the prevalent social norm emphasises a productive marriage leading to children as heirs, with a continued emphasis on a male heir for transfer of property, handling of business and continuity of caste and community.
Some of the key reasons, as mentioned by Mirza, behind the rise of DINK include the increasing expenses, the necessity to provide good education, healthcare system being privatised. This makes DINK an economic phenomenon that impacts traditional social structure that has emphasised women as child-bearers and marital sexual relations for procreation.
Another reason for DINK apart from the economic aspect is health. The rise of infertility among men and women is also leading to childless marriages. Further, economic anxiety, high levels of stress, erosion of traditional values that place faith in God or a religious system, and breakdown of the joint family as a social unit – all these social factors are causing the DINK trend to rise and stay.
According to Mirza, a small segment of Indian society, mostly upper class and educated are consciously opting out of the traditional social structure. Reasons for this could be changes in gender roles, privatisation, neo-liberalisation of the economy and the impact of the internet that has economically empowered women. “This may also have benefitted men, who find themselves unburdened from the traditional role of earning a livelihood and supporting dependents. Women may not see themselves as the primary caregiver within the family and men may not want to be the primary breadwinners. The traditional social structure supported child care in a way that new gender roles do not. These factors combined could be a reason for young couples opting for DINK,” says Mirza.
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Benefits of a DINK lifestyle
Dr Shubhangi Patil, HOD economics, associate professor, K.J. Somaiya College of Arts and Commerce, Vidyavihar highlights the key benefits of adopting the DINK lifestyle.
1. Personal freedom and career growth
With growing competition among employees for better placements, couples prefer prioritising their careers over children. Couples prefer to have personal freedom as they wish to enjoy a wide variety of recreational facilities. More time and resources can be dedicated to leisure activities, fitness, and recreation, contributing to a healthier and more balanced lifestyle. Individuals can focus on personal goals and self-improvement, be it through education, travel, or exploring new interests.
2. Growing awareness about fitness and health
DINK couples can have high income and more time which allows them to have better access to quality health facilities and services.
3. High disposable income
DINK allows couples to save their income which otherwise would have been spent on child’s education, health and raring. The high income of the couple allows them to spend more time and resources on leisure, personal health care, travel and other luxuries.
4. Increase in financial security
High disposable income with low per capita family expenditure allows couples to save and invest more. No child provides them with enough time to explore various high-return investment opportunities. Risk absorbing capacity is also high. All these factors increase their financial security.
5. Urban lifestyle
DINK couples can afford costly urban life as they have less per capita family expenditure. Cities having a lot of cultural and social amenities, tourist places, restaurants and modern community life reduce the importance of families with kids.
However, Patil also states that DINK lifestyle can have its own set of cons which include the absence of Parenthood, lack of sense of responsibility towards family and relations, loneliness in old age, and lack of family bonding.
Socio-economic impact
According to Patil, DINK lifestyle is likely to impact the socio-economic structure of a country.
Economic impact:
Rise in disposable income of the household ensures a better standard of living and a rise in savings and investment. This may also have an impact on the financial market as new investment products may be customised to suit the investment needs of DINK couples.
Impact of real estate and housing
The value of real estate in urban areas will increase as DINK couples prefer and can afford an urban lifestyle creating demand for urban dwellings. Demand for small size-houses but with high-class amenities and posh localities or even demand for rental houses may increase.
Rise in demand for luxurious consumer goods and services
The high income of educated DINK couples will increase their consumerism for luxurious goods and services. This will lead to a rise in the production of personal care, quality health care, recreational services, restaurants, pubs, and smart gadgets.
Demographic impact
The decision to have a DINK family today will affect the age composition in the future creating a dearth of labour supply and excess population of old age people. This will also impact the financial market after 20 years with more demand and production of pension fund financial product and mediclaims.
Impact on policies and urban planning
The rise in DINK couple population will pressure the government to provide better health, recreational facilities, transport, etc. in cities. Also, the government has to plan its tax and public expenditure policy in such a way that after 30 years enough public funds are available for the provision of social security to old age people.
Health aspect of opting for a childless life
The choice to opt for a DINK life has implications on the physical as well as mental health of couples.
1. Impact on mental health
Rhea Joseph, consultant psychiatric, social worker and relationship therapist at Cadabams Hospitals says, “Choosing a DINK lifestyle can bring numerous emotional benefits to couples. Firstly, it can enhance emotional intimacy as couples can spend more time nurturing their relationship without the demands of parenting. This can lead to a deeper connection and stronger bond. Secondly, it reduces stress levels since they don’t have the added responsibilities and pressures of raising children, contributing to greater life satisfaction and a more relaxed lifestyle. Additionally, DINK couples often find more opportunities for personal fulfilment, pursuing their passions and career goals, which leads to a heightened sense of achievement and overall well-being.”
When opting for a child-free marriage, Joseph suggests regularly checking in with each other about feelings, expectations, and relationship dynamics to ensure both partners feel valued and understood, maintaining a healthy and strong relationship.
In case of conflicting thoughts and desires, Joseph states, “Reaching a common ground when there’s a conflict of choices about having children requires open communication. Couples should discuss their desires, fears, and expectations transparently. Understanding each other’s perspectives can foster empathy and respect.”
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2. Impact on physical health
“DINK lifestyle can be equally positive and negative at the same time,” says Dr Surabhi Siddhartha, consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist, Motherhood Hospital, Kharghar.
“On the bright side, it provides the couple with quality time to spend which can help strengthen their relationship, reducing the possibility of experiencing physical strain and changes during pregnancy, financial stability due to dual income, and more time to follow their passion and hobbies. However, it becomes important to understand that reproductive health is more than the ability to conceive. Women who choose not to give birth might experience certain health issues such as irregular menstrual cycles which further lead to hormonal imbalance, and a higher risk of developing cervical, and, breast cancer, over time affecting the fertility rate by reducing the chances of getting pregnant in the future.”
For couples who are unsure of whether they wish to have a child or not should consider the following options, as stated by Siddhartha.
One of the potential options is egg freezing for women and sperm freezing for men. In this process, couples can freeze their eggs and sperm in their younger days (when their fertility rate is higher) while securing the possibility of pregnancy in the future.
Another option is undergoing IUI (Intrauterine insemination) procedure; it is a less complicated procedure where the sperm is directly injected into the uterus to increase the chances of getting pregnant. IUI is typically considered for a couple where a female partner has a higher fertility rate and a male partner deals with the issue of low sperm count.
IVF (In vitro fertilisation) is an expensive but commonly known procedure in today’s time. During IVF, the developed eggs are collected from a woman’s ovaries and fertilised by sperm in a laboratory. This then results in the formation of embryos that are again transferred into the uterus.
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Siddhartha adds, “According to the studies, planning pregnancy before 30 to 35 can be the ideal age due to the higher fertility rate, and low risks of complications associated with pregnancy like hypertension, preeclampsia, and gestational diabetes. The fertility rate in both men and women starts to decrease with age, making it essential for couples to plan pregnancy before 35.”
What initially started as a western trend is gradually set to become a way of life in India too. “According to the US Census Bureau, the number of married couples without children at home rose by approximately 10 per cent between 2010 to 2020. In urban areas of India, the DINK phenomenon is becoming more common among young professionals, though comprehensive national statistics are limited,” informs Patil.
However, experts believe that the DINK lifestyle is expected to co-exist with our traditional social structure. Social, cultural and economic factors are likely to increase its popularity so it may not remain just a trend as urbanisation, economic pressures, changing family dynamics and cultural shifts continue, DINK is likely to become a common and accepted way of life.